Tips to Help Your Kids Deal With a Loved One’s Alzheimer’s Diagnosis

When your child has grown up showered by love and blessings from a grandparent, it is a huge shock when one day, Granny or Grandpa fails to even recognize them. Unfortunately, Alzheimer’s is a heartbreaking reality for many families, and the condition does not have a cure.

The WHO reports that 10 million people face dementia every year. Alzheimer’s disease remains the most common form, causing people to lose their memory and show social withdrawal.

Family members and caregivers are at the receiving end of the massive emotional repercussions of the condition. Children, especially, can struggle to understand the abrupt changes in a loved one’s behavior. It can make them distressed and fearful as a lack of control often does.

We have some advice to support little ones through this challenging time.

Reassure Them: He/She Still Loves You a Lot

The first fear to address is attribution—your child may assume they had something to do with it. After all, if Gramps is so upset with them that they refuse to recognize them, then it must be something huge. We might sometimes feel little children focus only on themselves. But their developing emotions and anxieties come to the fore at times like these.

As parents, we can reassure our children that they had nothing to do with it. Depending on their age, consider explaining Alzheimer’s to them in basic terms. You could say something like:

“Grandpa’s brain sometimes makes him forget things. Some people get this when they get older. It is not your fault at all. They still love you as much as ever.”

When children understand that a brain-related condition is behind the strange behavior, they can find some reassurance. Older children can process further information, like theories that suggest infections can cause Alzheimer’s.

Comfort Them: We Will Help Them Get Through This

If your children are very close to the ailing family member, they might be desperate to help them fight the condition. Feeling helpless makes kids frustrated, much like adults.

So, telling them that Alzheimer’s has no cure is certain to get them riled up. Instead, you can focus on how you will support the grandparent or other ailing family member through the condition.

The World Alzheimer Report 2024 found that 80% of people believe dementia is a routine part of aging. Even 65% of healthcare professionals believe the same. However, it is incorrect. Changing this attitude toward the illness can help us, as a community, find concrete ways to support people we care about.

For example, a Frontiers study found that exercises, cognitive practice, and social activities can help people with Alzheimer’s. These steps can slow down the progress of the disease. Children can take the lead on some of these, ensuring their grandparent gets nutritious food and engages in once-beloved pursuits, like listening to music.

When we opt for quality care for our loved ones outside the house, such as an assisted living and memory care facility, children can go on weekly visits. Make sure they know that doing this makes the affected person happy, even if they don’t show it.

Be mindful that kids may need additional support during this transition—they may struggle to understand why their family member must move to another “facility”. We have to help them understand that Grandpa needs a bit of extra help from nurses and expert caregivers.

According to Heartful Homes, nurses experienced in memory care and customizing meals/activities can help older adults feel happier and healthier.

Address Their Fears: It Doesn’t Mean Mom/Dad Will Also Get It

When your household is facing the impact of Alzheimer’s, children can develop another fear. What if mom and dad also develop this problem and forget them one day? It can be a massive source of tension for sensitive children. They may feel at a loss to do anything, acting clingy and tantrum-y as a result.

MedicalNewsToday explains that Alzheimer’s can have genetic implications, which increases your risk after a family member’s diagnosis. However, not every case stems from genetic reasons; not everyone has a mutation making them prone to this illness. Moreover, ongoing research aims to understand how to identify risk factors early and help people avoid them.

Make sure your kids know that their parents are healthy and will be okay. If they are curious and old enough to understand, you can tell them about medical research studies that show promise.

For instance, blood tests may soon be available to gauge your Alzheimer’s risk. Some healthcare practitioners find that living a healthy lifestyle and maintaining social connections can also lower your likelihood of developing dementia.

Alzheimer’s disease impacts everyone involved. It feels final and frustrating, threatening to dilute a person’s memories of happy times and shared moments. Children can have a tough time coming to terms with it, but our support can make a difference. Everyone needs extra hugs and cuddles at this time—parents, kids, and grandparents alike.